Lost and Found

The other day before we started playing hide and seek, Welly looked at me with his soul eyes and said, “Mama if I get lost, will you always always find me?”

“Yes Baby. Always.”

And while he ran off to find his perfectly obvious hiding spot in a cardboard box, my heart felt the weight of that question.

Yes! That is it, isn’t it? That is all we have to do. Perhaps the big work of our lifetime is to keep finding each other, over and over when we got lost and disconnected.

I remember what my parents would tell me at Disneyland or the shopping mall or the woods: If you get lost, stay right where you are. Don’t fight it. Don’t scramble around. We’ll come to you and it’s so much harder to find a moving target.

I used to think my job was to not get lost in the first place, or to control everything for the people that I love so they would never get lost. Especially with my kids. Somehow I thought that my job was to love them perfectly and the weight of that almost put me under. My fear of failure is what caused me to check out. It’s so hard to show up everyday in my imperfections and say, “Here I am. This is the best I can do and I’m offering it to you.”

Even (and especially) in my failures and struggles, I am teaching my kids about real life. We’re stumbling around, misunderstanding, taking things personally, and sometimes living out of old wounds. That is the reality of this world.

We’re lost and found a million times every day, but more times than that, we’re reaching for each other. It’s the reaching that matters. Again and again, we’re showing up when we feel like checking out. We’re trusting and drawing close when we feel like lashing out, or repairing things after we do. We’re finding our way back and making new pathways to each other.

That is the work of finding and being found. That is the work of love.

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13 thoughts on “Lost and Found

  1. Yes it is. The big work of our lifetime. Thank you so much for this post–you clarify what I feel about parenting, about being human, much more beautifully than I could say.

    • Thank you for reading! I’m glad you could find some clarity here. Sometimes I think we are all just writing things that we need to hear ourselves, and in the process we usually touch on something that is also true for others.

  2. This is beautifully said. I sometimes forget that when I feel lost, there are always people who will find me where I’m at: God being one of them.

  3. And isn’t it beautiful to be found? And to be loved? Thank you for sharing your mama heart, Leah. Wish we lived closer . . .

  4. At the end of the day, our love has been imperfect in some manner. Thanks for the reminder that being there for each other is so important.

  5. Your posts are so atriking a cord with me because i am also an imperfect mum struggling to be the best i can to my kids and loved ones.
    It’s so nice to have you back!

  6. Pingback: Small Things | SharePerspective

  7. I was wondering about the parables of the lost things the other day and how God can even lose us in the first place, but it’s true. We are always getting lost somehow. Over and over again. Welly’s question is perfect, because we wonder sometimes if we’ll ever be found, but it’s a promise. Yes. Yes, we will. I so enjoy your writing.

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