The Beat of Your Own Drum

Dear Welly,

Today I bought you your very own djembe drum! You loved it immediately and said “where are the things for banging on it?”

We were in Portland for my appointment with Tami Kent who is a women’s pelvic physical therapist and also an energetic healer. I’m seeing her to help with some birth injuries and also because I love her work and want to learn more. In the appointment, she led me through a meditation and was asking me to set intentions for things that I want in my life and for my family.

Your face kept coming to mind my sweet boy, since I’ve been feeling a bit disconnected from you lately. We aren’t understanding each other the way we sometimes do and I see how the stresses of everyday life wear on you when you don’t feel as close to me.

I thought to myself that I want to find a way of being with you that is more simple and smooth. Also that I want to help you embrace all that wild little boy energy, but also find out how to move through the day with a little more cooperation. Because SERIOUSLY, I think you and I will both scream if we have to spend another morning grid locked over diaper changes :).

I’m the mama so it’s my job to guide us to a better way and to figure out what is keeping me from being able to set clear and simple boundaries for you right now.

So as I called our relationship to mind, I set the intention for finding a way to reach you again. I know that we will have struggles, conflicts, off days-but I need to be able to get close enough to help you through all that. I want an invisible string that keeps us close even when you’re flying all over the place. Like the kites that you love to watch at the beach. I can give you some slack when I know you’re ready, and reel you back in when the wind gets too strong.

Anyway, as I sat in my appointment, I didn’t have words for all of this yet. I simply set the intention of finding a thread to connect with you and keep you feeling safe and also the intention of learning how to honor all your physical energy.

The thought of a drum came to mind and I thought: huh? But I moved on with the rest of the appointment.

Lately I’ve been coming to terms more and more with the side of me that knows a lot of wise things but that my brain laughs at and totally doesn’t understand. I think it’s what some might call the Holy Spirit. It’s my crazy cooky inner voice that is actually pretty smart about a lot of things but doesn’t alwaysmake much logical sense. That’s the part of me that saw a drum in our future.

I walked out of my appointment feeling light and hopeful. I paused to write down some of the things I didn’t want to forget, and hesitantly put drum at the bottom. Then I went on my merry way, just minding my own business until I rounded the corner and realized I was standing directly in front of a drum store. Like right in front if it. I basically almost ran smack into a drum store.

So I took that as a cue and marched right in to buy you an awesome little djembe drum. I had some money that my grandparents gave me for Easter and this seemed like the perfect use for it.

The store was really cool with lots of dream catchers and drums from all over the world. When I told the lady at the counter the story of how I ended up there, she just looked at me calmly and said, “Yeah, I know. It happens a lot. We always seem to be here when people need us.” Well ok then. Wow. I guess I’ll go now and buy a latte?! What am I supposed to say to that? :).

And that my darling, is the story of how you got your first drum. You love, love, love it and I hope that when you wake up tomorrow you can beat on it to your hearts content, or until my nerves are shot (whichever comes first). For now, sleep tight my little wild man.

Love,
Mama

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