Dear W,

A couple of days ago on our walk, you ran around collecting feathers from a pile on the sidewalk and saying, “thank you bird!!!”

Suspecting that the bird you were thanking might in fact have fallen prey to a cat, I told you the feathers were kind of dirty and would have to be a treasure that stays outside.

“But they might get lost mama.”
Good point, so I offered to get you a special bowl so they would stay safely on the porch. “But the wind might blow them away out of the bowl.”
Good point again, so I offered to get a bowl with a lid.
“But the lid might blow off and then the feathers will be gone.”
Finally I showed you how the lid snapped on tightly and you were satisfied to leave your prized possessions in my best glass Tupperware that is now on the front porch. I was happy that we were able to communicate so well. I was able to hold my boundary but I think you still felt heard.

What a gift you are to me my brilliant, wild baby boy. You are so invested in the things that you love and committed to your own ideas. Thank you for putting up a fuss if you think I’m just dismissing you. Thank you for reminding me over and over that your little voice matters. You’re a strong advocate for yourself and it makes me smile to think of how well that will serve you later in life.

I’m sorry it sometimes makes me uncomfortable that you have such big opinions. I promise to try my best to honor what matters to you while also being strong enough to lead you. How do I teach you that you have power in your own life, but not so much power that it overwhelms you?

I’m committed to finding that balance and it’s a joy to have that be my life’s work.

But seriously, I will pay someone in the Berg to make the dead bird debris go away. Free Tupperware.



4 thoughts on “Feathers

  1. Love you mama. You’re an inspiration to me and I am so glad to call you my friend!! W is so very lucky that you are open to compromises that fit within your boundaries. Xoxo

  2. I absolutely love this! I’ve been feeling the same way about Nolan, trying to find balance between honoring his opinions (which only come out as grunts at this point) and not compromising boundaries. This is beautiful, thank you for sharing 🙂

    • Thanks Michelle! Yes, it is so challenging. I feel like just when I get the hang of it, something changes developmentally and it’s time to come up with something else. I remember the grunting phase so well :).

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